We all have "watershed" events in our lives. Those events that seem to change the course of our life in a single moment. Though I've had several times in my life that I can look back on and see my life change coure, none of those events were as life changing as my son, Matthew.
Matthew never drew a breath. He lived 16 short weeks inside of me. I knew of him for only 4 brief months. I never was given the privilege of knowing him. I long for the day when I will meet him in Heaven!
Though I have walked this road 4 times, Matthew was the only one that we got to actually see. God allowed us to experience Him in an unbelievable way and I am so thankful for the journey. Soon after we lost Matthew, I heard myself saying "If God were to offer me a choice of having Matthew back or keeping what I've learned of Him, I would choose to leave Matthew in His arms and live my life with a new understanding of God."
We are blessed beyond what we could have ever imagined. God graciously filled my arms again after Matthew with our youngest, Ellen Mercy. She is a daily reminder of God's tender mercy to us.
Miscarriage is a topic that isn't often discussed. My dear friend, Laurie, called this winter and encouraged me to edit and post Matthew's Story. She is actually my co-writer in this endeavor. She has lost her own little ones. She has chosen to take her experience and turn it into encouragment for others walking this path. Thanks for the example and the encouragement, friend!
Laurie and I both know that every single miscarriage is different. Even for us, we were at different places physically, emotionally and spiritually with each of our losses. We do not profess to have all of the answers. We are only sharing our own experiences and thus, sharing our hearts. Our hope is that those experiencing miscarriage will find hope and healing through Matthew's Story.
Matthew's Story
Thanks for sharing your story Heidi. I should really be in bed right now but I couldn't stop reading until I was completely finished. Your unwavering faith is admirable but I know you don't want the glory -- it's all for Jesus. We do serve an amazing God and I am glad you are choosing to share your story with others.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. The death of a child is hard..I had lost my own daughter..but in God's mercy he blessed me with 2 more daughters that bring me constant joy. God bless you thorough all of your journeys.
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